call this my diary maybe, not so much a blog...i'm hoping maybe somewhere down the road, i will read these again, and think "wow" thank god those days are over...hard to imagine right now, in the midst of the storm. Son...you left again last night, christmas night..it breaks my heart, i KNOW you are struggling, i don't pretend to understand the magnitude of your hurt and pain, i just wish i could help you through...2 weeks today, you will enter rehab, i can only pray my hardest that you still will go. I see the pain on your face, i see you sweat ..you need to stop running back to the devil, he doesn't love you, I DO!
You have become a person i don't know anymore, you words are empty and shallow, you not to be believed, where did my beautiful baby boy go...you weren't a spot of trouble when you were a baby and then a toddler...what a joy you were.
I fear everyday for your life...tomorrow we have an interview at the rehab...
Okay my dear son, you've been accepted into rehab starting Jan. 10th 2013. This shall be the true 'new year' for you...2013 will be YOUR year
i need to go to god andd iii cnat live tis life anymore, i can't be manetally abused anymore, i need my grandmmmaaa to come and take me away, iii wnat to go to a hossspital and just be drugged up and feeel noo painn ii have been abused agiannn and i don't know wyh. i can't deal with life anhmoree i can't ddeal with my kiddssss. i wan to die and go be with my grandma. he's turning aeveron against me and i have no one i dddddon't wnat to live anmore
My mood: extremely tearful
i'm just writing not knowing what i'm writing, my fingers are only moving because that's what they're supposed to do. please god, give me the strength to go on, and be there for my kidsss, iii don't know what to do anymore, i want my grandma to come down and take me away from all this pain.... i can't take it anymore...........i want to go to a hospital and sit in a room all by myself and not have to talk or see anyone, give me some strong medication to make te paain go away............ im not stron g enough god to get through another heartache, immm just not strong aenough. i don't know wat i ddddidd to do deseeerve this. he's turning eeeeeeeeeeeeryoone against me.....i'm goinnng noeeeee..............
Previous PostsWednesday Dec. 26, 2012, posted December 26th, 2012
hoping, praying, ..., posted December 3rd, 2012, 1 comment
god help mee, posted November 15th, 2007, 5 comments
god please help me, posted November 15th, 2007
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